Wake Up
I felt her cool caress on my arm and it woke me. Not a sudden jerk awake, but a peaceful, gentle graze of her fingertips across my elbow. I opened my eyes and there she was in all her perfect glory. Those beautiful brown eyes, that heart-shaped face. She looked down to me, her brown curls cascading down and framing that face..the first and last face I wanted to see every day.
"Well, hello there stranger," she whispered to me, in her usual playful greeting. She'd say that every time we fell asleep together and she woke before me. "You looked so nice, laying there sleeping. I didn't want to wake you, but I needed to. You were snoring so loud, I couldn't hear my show."
I sat up in the bed, giving her one of my crooked, half smiles. She loved those, she always said. It was her favorite part of me....the way I smiled at her. "What time is it, Sarah?" My voice sounded somewhat hoarse. I lifted my hand to my eyes and began to wipe away the sleep that was there.
"Almost seven. You've been out for a while now. I woke up about two hours ago, but I know you need your sleep when you can get it so I watched Animal Planet instead."
She smiled again, bigger this time, as she began to describe to me the events of America's Funniest Animals. I laughed at her as she spoke, and then a realization hit me.........
It was almost seven.
"We have to go baby!" I screamed, a little louder than I meant to, and jumped off the bed, almost knocking her to the side. I tossed her her sweater and began searching the floor for the shirt I had been wearing that day. Sarah just stared in amazement, laughing quietly to herself. She stood up and slipped into her sweater, just as I discovered what I was searching for as well.
"You're wearing that again," she said to me, frowning, although I could see a smile brewing just below the surface of her discontent.
"But of course, my lady," I responded in a mock British accent. "This is my favorite shirt....My lucky shirt."
"And just what, praytell, do you need luck for today Mr. Sanders?" She nuzzled up to me as I slid the faded, black Coheed and Cambria t-shirt over my head.
I threw my arms around her in an overly dramatic fashion and hugged her tight to myself, letting my lips stop just a few inches from her left ear. "Why, maybe I'm trying to.....get lucky."
She playfully shoved me away from her, and I laughed with her as we made our way towards the bedroom door. As she walked behind me she wrapped her arms around my waist and placed her head on my back. She squeezed me tight and as I went to turn, she shoved me forcefully into the next room.
"I don't know if you quite deserve it," she smiled at me. It wasn't the same, big smile it had been before. This one was soft, radiating from every part of her face. Her eyes lit up while softening at the same time. Her lips were almost completely together, and her cheeks were just slightly full. this was no playful smile......she was showing me what she really felt.
This was love.....
I flew to her and kissed her quick, not wanting to lose anymore time. I beckoned her to follow as we made our way up the basement stairs and towards the kitchen, which was also the exit. My step-dad sat up at the couner on a stool, reading a newspaper and eating a sandich. He raised his head when he saw us coming, smiling warmly at both of us.
"Now David, you take good care of my girl for me. I need her back in one piece if I'm ever gonna steal her from you."
"Erin..dav....mag........ED!" My mom finally got out. She always did this when repremanding someone. She'd lsit every other person in the house before it got to the name she actually intended. "Leave them alone. David, don't be too late, alright?"
"I know mom. I'll be back around ten. We are just going to grab some dinner."
"Ohh dinner. Why are we in such a hur--" but I put my fingers to her lips and told her to be quiet. She looked up at me and I started to laugh.
"Yes, dinner. And we are in a hurry because.....I....um....I am starving."
With that, we bid my parents goodbye and made our way out to the car. The garage of the house opened to a country scene with only one other house, about two hundred yards away in the distance. My red taurus sat near the bigger garage, the one Ed used to rebuild "hot rods" as he called them. Frankly, I had no idea what he was doing. I had never been much for cars, but it seemed to make him happy, and it gave him somehting to do.
I made my way out in front of her, quickly opening the passenger door for her before she reached the car, and then dramatically swooping my hand toward the opening.
"Your chariot awaits, my dear."
When I shut the door, I walked briskly over to my door, not wanting to hurry too much. I had already given away too much of the situation by pushing her to leave so quickly. I had a feeling she knew that something was up. Hopefully she hadn't caught on enough to figure it out just yet. I slid into the car and shut the door behind me, turning the ignition simultaneously. The radio kicked onto what we had been listening before.
"The morning will come in the press of every kiss, with your head upon my chest. Where I will annoy you with every waking breath until you decide to wake up."
I looked over and she was giving me that same smile she had in the basement. I could feel the love as she sang the song to me. Her voice carried the song throughout the car, plunging it into a sea of beauty that I had the priveledge of seeing, and hearing, almost every day. I loved to listen to her sing, especially to my favorite band.
"I've earned through hope and faith the curves around your face. That I'm the one you'll hold forever."
The song shot me upright in my bed. Tears streaming down my face, the dark room was alive with her memory. I slid out of bed and stumbled over to my stereo, turning it off instantly. I wish I woken up. I could have stayed in that dream world forever. Just as the song said.....
"I'm the one you'll hold forever."
I slumped down, my back sliding against the dresser until I was on the floor. I pulled my knees up and buried my face into them, wrapping my arms around myself to insulate against the loneliness.
The enormity of her absence was everywhere.
© David Ames 2010
No comments:
Post a Comment